Growing Up German

unscharf-an-den-raendern:

• Always getting a free slice of sausage at the butcher
  
• Hearing stories where people violently died as bedtime stories
  
• Closing your eyes when the Sandmännchen throws his sand so you don’t have to go to sleep
  
• Making your own ice cream with Fruchtzwerge yoghurt
• Benjamin Blümchen Cake
• Singing a song about chinese people playing contrabass
• “Fisher Fisher how deep is the water?”
• “Don’t throw snowballs, one time a girl got a snowball with a stone in it in her eye and she went blind!”
  
• “Charlie Chaplin went to Frankfurt…”
  
• A depressed bread called Bernd
• Knowing like 2 people who can pronound the English “th” properly
• Humilating unathletic students in front of the whole school a.k.a. Bundesjugendspiele
• “My grandma rides a motor bike in the hen house.”
  
• Toggo Tour was like Coachella for German kids but you could never go cause they never came to your town
• “cat toilet, cat toilet, yes that makes the cat happy”
• “Space Taxi to the sky!”
  
• “Now in every 7th egg!”
  
• “Get [insert stupid ringtone here] in the Jamba Sparabo!”
  
• Is it der, die or das Nutella?
• Having friends in other states is difficult cause they’ve got school holidays when you’re still in school and vice versa
• “Of course with the Mouse and the Elephant”

thepoemist:

manche blätter

fallen neben andere

manche tage

verlieren sich im nebel

manche träume

holt der erste frost

.

“Ich weiß nicht wer sie sind. Ich weiß nicht was sie wollen. Falls sie auf Lösegeld aus sind, kann ich ihnen versichern: Ich habe kein Geld. Aber was ich habe, sind ganz besondere Fähigkeiten. Fähigkeiten, die ich mir im Verlauf einer langen Karriere angeeignet habe, Fähigkeiten, durch die ich für Typen wie sie zum Albtraum werde. Wenn sie meinen Sohn jetzt freilassen, ist die Sache erledigt. Aber wenn nicht, werde ich sie jagen. Ich werde sie aufspüren. Und ich werde sie töten.”

official-german-translationen:

– Marlin, an P. Sherman 42 Wallaby Way Sydney

official-german-translationen:

the-real-heinz-christian-strache:

memyselfandmystupidity:

the-real-norbert-hofer:

I just saw Kingsman the Golden Circle yesterday and I started wondering what if Austria had a secret organisation as well??

So me and my homie @the-real-heinz-christian-strache came up with something.

So i present you

Die Kaisermänner

Their base is in a Trachtenshop.

But they also obviously have really cool secret lairs in the Alps.

They take their Agent Names from the highest Mountains of Austria.

With Agent Großglockner (the highest Mountain) being their leader.

Other examples for names would be Agent Dachstein, Agent Wildspitze, Agent Piz Buin, Agent Schneeberg, Agent Hochkönig, Agent Zugspitze….

Of course they also have real ass cool skis with rocket power and shit.

Originally posted by mr-skif

They also have a really sick style.

Anways, yes i have no life, would i be delighted if someone added to this or did it for their own country? Also yes

Pfiat eich🇦🇹

I love this idea and will do this for Germany:

Die Kanzlermänner

Their base is a Dönerbude 

And their really cool secret lair is down an old mine in Ruhrpott

They take their Agent Names from the longest Autobahnen of Germany.

With Agent A7 (the longest Autobahn) being their leader.

Other examples for names would be Agent A3, Agent A1, Agent A4, Agent A9, Agent A8, Agent A6….

Of course they also have real ass cool segways with rocket power and shit.

Originally posted by newsgifhq

They also have a really sick style.

Auf Wiedersehen

Oh mein Gott. Des is so geil

Sicher dass die Geheimbasis nicht am BER ist?

mimi-mindless:

mimi-mindless:

“Sie werden sie töten um an Sie zu kommen!”
Normal German sentence where every “sie” refers to a different person:
“THEY will kill HER to get to YOU!”

@official-german-translationen